As the 2020 U.S presidential election draws near, Democratic strategists have been scrambling to find someone capable of interpreting their speculative nominee former vice president Joe Biden.
After an exhausting search, the Democratic National Committee has selected heavy metal legend Ozzy Osbourne to interpret the unintelligible Joe Biden.
Tom Perez, Chair of the Democratic National Committee released the following statement…
“We were a little concerned about Mr. Osbourne after the elderly musician had been stricken with pneumonia, but he really is the only person who speaks anything close to Bidenese,”
After appointing several speech writers including Jar Jar Binks of Star Wars fame and The Muppets Swedish Chef, staffers realized that it wasn’t the speech-writers making Joe Biden sound like a babbling imbecile but the presidential candidate himself.
Wife/Manager Sharon Osbourne says Ozzy is extremely excited about this wonderful opportunity the Dems have given him.
“I just flumbba gigga dallug nuhd, see?” Osbourne said in his first interview as translator. “And the kifflun juhhzzah rilly liggles.”
Joe Biden expressed some hesitance in having a translator during the upcoming debates with Donald Trump.
“Only one person can fill the tank of, you know?…The thing on a muggy day and that ain’t slick, Rick!”
?Whatever the hell that means!
Joe Biden – 17 Minutes Of Joe’s Melting Brain
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*Based on the parody originally posted by The Genesius Times