DUNCANVILLE, TX— Alluding their apparent ignorance of anything having to do with the Los Angeles-based thrash metal band Metallica, pastor …
Ozzy Osbourne Hired To Interpret Speeches For Joe Biden
As the 2020 U.S presidential election draws near, Democratic strategists have been scrambling to find someone capable of interpreting their …
Westboro Baptist Church To Protest Funeral of Nicko McBrain; McBrain Claims He’s Not Dead
The Westboro Baptist Church is back to their old tricks again. Only this time, they have planned a massive protest …
Metallica To Replace Lars Ulrich With Hologram Drummer
Los Angeles, CA. – In a bold move, heavy metal band Metallica has chosen to adopt hologram technology in an …
Church Bassist Spontaneously Combust After Playing Black Sabbath Riff
Christian orthodox church musician tragically burst into flames in front of entire church staff as he warmed up with classic …
Gene Simmons New Promo: Smell My Fingers For $50
KISS fans have something really spectacular to look forward to, they will soon be lining up in droves for a …
Metallica Breaks Hetfield Out Of Rehab To Finish Tour
In a bold Alcatraz-style jailbreak, James Hetfield has escaped his maximum security rehab center with the aid of his fellow …
Greta Thunberg Speech Turned 2 Face-Melting Death Metal
Just as Swedish environmental activist Greta Thunberg has the world listening, someone turns her famous speech into some hysterical Swedish …
KISS Calf Looks Suspiciously Like Gene Simmons
This Little Calf Born In Texas Looks Suspiciously Like KISS Frontman Gene Simmons And People Want Answers! The KISS icon …
Lars Ulrich Sues 8th Grade Student Over Metallica Logo
CHIPPEWA FALLS, Wis. – A team of high-powered attorneys representing the interests of pioneering metal act Metallica filed the necessary …